date: Sunday, September 27, 2009
title: =)
So yesterday I met up with Bee Khim and her bf Victor for the SIM Global Education Open House cos she wanna go see got what course that she is interested in. Ming Huai n Yi Heng join us too.. Oh man, u dunno how long since I last saw them sia…. Its been like since Feb at Bee Khim’s Birthday Celebration???? LOL
Feel so guilty when I saw them, cos everytime they having meet up or what events, I am always busy and cant attend.. cos the guys in NS now only weekend free…. But then, mostly my weekend are booked *sigh* Next meet up will be James’s Birthday Celebration on Sat 17 Oct so I hopefully I can really go n make up those meet up that I misses with them…. :)
Ok, the main topic of today is not really about them.. (haha) well cos its been so long that since bee khim last saw me… she was kinda interested in my love-life.. LOL (bee khim, kapo ah u… LOL) Then she was like telling that *ahem* is still single, tell me to give a try… LOL. I wish I could.. cos *ahem* is quite a nice guy, the type of guy that I like… but I guess I am not his type… dun wanna ma lu myself (given the past experiences I had)….
Come to think of it, most my friend around me are attached la.. even my mum ask me why I dun have bf -___-. Of course I love the feeling of being loved by someone n date him.. but till now I still haven meet my ahem ~prince charming… this kinda thing cannot force de u know?..
I even joke with my mum that what if one day I really meet my prince charming and I love love him soooo much (and so do him to me) that we suddenly announce that we wanna get married after dating for (like) a few months, how???? LOL
Thinking abt my past experience, wait… did I say past experience???? I dun think I even have lor, unless u counted the naïve unmatured teen years of dating which is sadly my first love who we hang out together for a few months n the guy suddenly say that we would be better if we just be friends and after that we felt so awkward that we rarely talk to each other (if we really have to communicate) since that day which I still have feelings for him for few years and he din tell me any or leave a note to me and he suddenly just left to other country for his further studies (I still have to hear this news through third party.. do u know how sad it is for me at that moment?? It felt that I don mean anything impt to you!!!!!) . Everything that is about him felt so sudden and I just cant take it anymore, maybe its his style of doing things and I even so stupidly thinking that maybe he would also SUDDENLY came back and tell me that we should be together.. after all that’s his style of doing things what so I should expect ‘surprises’ from him ma. HAHA *yea right.. wait long long ah* Most ppl say that ur first love is the one that u will remember the most… ur sweet memories n the puppy love.. but sadly for me… my first love left the wrong memories for me that I could not forget it…. I hate him thou… but I still….. its hard to hate him…
I hardly have crushes… (not like some ppl who can have like crushes once every few months, I very loyal de loh) so when I do have crushes, I take it very very seriously (and I mean it)… i still remember after my first love, I fall in love with another guy few yrs later.. I even try to woo him..n I even pluck up my courage to tell him that I like him.. and I get the most hurtful rejection ever had in this entire universe… No, he din reject me in harshness or rudeness… in fact he was very polite n sincerely rejected me by saying that ‘ I am really happy that u like me.. but the person that I like is *ahem ahem*’ ( which is sadly my (den) best friend) OMG can…. I rather he rejected rudely than saying that the person he like is my (den) best friend n I felt soooo used.. cos I thot he always hang out with me cos he kinda like me… but NO.. he just wanted to use me to get close to my best friend!!!!!!!!!! WTF.. but in the end they din end up together la.. he ended up with another girl after my (then) best friend rejected him.. HAHA. Noticing I use the word (den) best friend?? Cos we had a big huge fight that we not friends anymore n now shes in Aust for further studies…..
Guess I quite a ‘failure’ for this kinda relationship… (oh did I tell u that it was also me that started to woo him first???) I think I should not do this again.. cos my friend says it may ‘frighten off guys’ HAHA.. so I guess, I should just sit back n wait for guys to woo me huh.. guessed that successful rate would be higher??? LOL Wau, I din realize that I open up so much today n spill some my personal stuffs here… I guess that I can trust u guys n u wont laugh at me right? RIGHT?????
PS: I am not desperate or what, just wanna open up the stuffs that is hidden inside me for sooo long so that I can just clear it .. anyway, my priority now is to focus on studies and I now dun have time for dating either =)Labels: friendship, random, relationship
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